Across Distant Seas
by Kaiame
Summary: Artemis Fowl is swept away by an American girl...all the way to the subterranean! A dreadful new sickness that may not be so unfamilair to the mudmen. And the only cure? To sell what can't be priced. R
1. The American

Disclaimer: Guess what, I don't own Artemis Fowl. Happy-go-Birthday

**Across Distant Seas**

Chapter 1—The American

He sat alone, as always, but this time, not as always, he was sitting on a couch, an actual couch, and he was sulking. Sulking. He didn't know this was what it was, for he rarely if ever did, but low and behold, his arms were crossed on his chest, and he was almost not sitting straight.

His mother was having a friend over. A friend! Imagine that. He didn't even realize she had them, well, the real ones at least, that you invite over. But, no, she had a, a friend, who was indeed coming over, and in a matter of minutes at that. And his mother, cajoling sweetly, (and with a hidden threat that only a mother can hold), she convinced him to sit on the couch in their living room because she said he had to meet this friend.

He found this incredibly stupid. Why would he have to meet this friend? He had better things to do….even if it was cheating people out of their money. His seventeen-year-old self had quite a reputation.

"Artemis, your mother is upstairs, but still, can you not compose yourself a little better than this?"

"Did I ask your opinion, Butler?" Artemis snapped. He didn't see his manservant smile behind him.

"It doesn't sound like you're too happy about this meeting?" Sarcasm touched his voice.

Artemis turned and glared at him. Butler had on a secret smile.

The doorbell (since when did they have a doorbell?) rang.

His mother came running down the stairs as one of their maids opened the door.

"Sam!" his mother squealed. Sam?

"Angie! Aahh!" A female voice, fine. But….Angie? Who called his mother Angie? What kind of disrespect was that!

"Sam! Ah, Sam, it's so good to see you again!"

"Of course it is! Because I'm me!"

"And when you're me, it's all that you'll see!" they cried together. How odd. He was itching to know who this, well, high pitched, nickname bearing woman was.

"Arty! Arty! Come in here and meet Sam!" his mother called.

He grudgingly stood up. Butler kept his secret smile, and Artemis scowled all the more for it.

He walked into the entranceway. There was his mother in a stunning ensemble of pink. She was smiling rapturously, and she was beckoning to him with fervor. He stepped in the door and had to do a double take.

"Arty, this is Samantha McAllester. You remember me telling you about the wonderful people I met when I visited America. Sam, this is my little Arty."

The woman—no, girl—no…somewhere in between. She smiled evenly in greeting. She had blonde hair with blue tips…how bizarre. She had a straight nose and red, full lips, and bright, cerulean eyes. A hint of tan dusted her face. She was tall, shorter than him, but long, and with guesses of curves under her white t-shirt and black capris.

Artemis had never been more annoyed in his life.

"Hello, eh-em, Artemis." She was hiding a smile, no doubt about his mother's pet name for him. "I've heard so much about you. It's nice to finally meet the legend."

"Mmhmm. Sure." Butler made a noise behind him. Artemis stifled a sigh. "This is Butler. You heard the introduction, Butler."

Butler shot him a look before walking over to this…Sam. "Hello Samantha. I am Butler. It is a pleasure to meet you." He took her hand and bowed over it before kissing it in theatrical form. Sam laughed.

"I'll talk to you about that later." She said. Artemis stared on appalled.

"Sami, you must be exhausted after your trip. Would you like some tea? Butler, can you find someone to fix us some tea?"

"No! No, I'll get it, Angie. Just show me to the kitchen."

"If that's what you want, Sami. Butler, do find someone to take her bags up. Sami, I'll show you to your room later. Oh, we'll have to get caught up! Come on, Arty. Come sit with us. Have some tea."

He began sulking again, but he followed. Anything to make his mother happy.

Ten minutes later he was sitting in the breakfast alcove. Sam set down a cup of tea in front of him, his mother, and one where she was going to sit.

They sped through their talking, keeping light the conversation. Artemis didn't touch his tea. The clock rang several times, and he still contributed nothing to the conversation. Butler even added input, which erupted in much laughter from the ladies. Somewhere in the mix Sam made some more tea, taking away his old, full cup and giving him another.

His mother got a very…well, strange twinkle in her eye. "You're so quiet, Arty? I've never known you to be shy. Ah, well. I need to call your father. It's about the right time in Tibet for a phone call. Besides, I want you two to get acquainted." She winked, and Artemis held back a scowl.

When her mother was out of the room, Sam's friendly smile fell. "Butler, sit. Artemis, are you going to drink your tea?"

He scoffed, taken back by her sudden change in demeanor. "No. Why would I?"

"Hmm. Butler said it was your favorite. Your loss. We have to talk."

"I don't have to talk about anything with you. What are you?"

She rolled her eyes. Butler interrupted. "Artemis, you should listen to her."

"Butler!"

"Butler, just don't. Artemis, I've been talking with him, Butler, for the past few months. We've been following something. We're pretty sure you'd like to be involved in this, but if you're going to act that way…"

"What kind of rude little—"

"Artemis! Beha-"

"Holly Short."

Artemis's breath came short. He turned to face her, and she looked back with no emotion.

"What did you say?"

"Now, that I have your attention, will you listen?" She gave a quick nod when he gave his affirmation. "I was contacted a few months back by Butler, who has been receiving information from Captain Short. Since then, we have been receiving details about a terrible occurrence in the subterranean levels. Direct, mind you, from the Plaza. It seems there is an above-ground induced sickness attacking the fairy world, and, well, killing them."

Artemis's mind went blank. All thoughts of outrage and betrayal fled his mind. This impertinent, strange haired American gave him the weirdest news of his life. Well, close to weirdest.

"It would be best to shut your gaping mouth. You're almost drooling in your tea. We're leaving in the morning. Butler, please show me to my room? I'm kinda tired."

"Sure, Mistress Sam," he joked. She laughed with him. "Sleep well!" they called in unison, followed by more laughs.

He unconsciously drank a cup of tea, to clear his mind. God, that was good tea. Wait. Damn it. No! Oh well. She wasn't there to see.

"Glad you like the tea. I forgot my purse. Night!" She tossed her hair and flashed him a smile before speeding off.

Who was this girl? He sighed. Americans

--

Tell me whatchya think. I know I kinda didn't finish the other one……I'll work on that. But, yeah, there will be more. I promise.


	2. The First Journey

And, so yeah, what did y'all think? Anything, no? I'm sure it'll get better. It started off kinda, I dunno. But I've got an idea in mind, and well, god, here ya go.

Disclaimer..Same as before and forever more.

**Across Distant Seas**

Chapter 2—The First Journey

Her room was spacious, with plain walls and thick carpet. There were beautifully carved bureaus of rich wood where all her clothes were stored, magically put up by unseen help. She had a pretty window with a cushioned seat that overlooked the well kept, rich rose-and-ivy garden. The bed was her favorite. It was a four post canopy—sheer black and blue hangings, with a black comforter with blue satin sheets. Angie had remembered her favorite colors.

And now she was on the bed, with Angie, laughing about old times.

"I still think it's a great idea that you're letting us go out tomorrow, Angie. It sounds like so much fun! How did you ever come up with it?"

"Actually, Butler suggested it, but don't tell Arty. He would be appalled. I'm sorry he didn't accept you more warmly. It's just because your so pretty."

"Angie!"

"What? You don't actually think I don't remember all those American boys following you around."

"Ha! That was only because I was carrying the last football in the sports department."

"Did you give it to that little boy in the hospital?"

"Jason? Yeah. He really liked. I heard he won't go to sleep without that and the teddy-bear you bought him. I know for a fact that he would go into surgery without it. They let him."

"You made them, didn't you?" Angie said, laughing.

"You bet I did. I screamed at the head surgeon for half an hour until he did. He came out later announcing the surgery a success, all thanks to a damn bear. It was the funniest thing."

"Still, I don't think they were following you for the football."

"Think what you will. American boys are jerks. No manners, almost non boundaries. Lazy. Not like Europeans."

"Ha! The differences. I've heard of tons of our girls that would love nothing more than to meet an American boy."

"Two countries split," she said.

"Like a box of fries?"

"Right down the middle."

"And the Coca-Cola out of your nose?"

"It's not my fault you tried to talk like the cashier!"

Angie put on her best American accent, which was greatly influenced by her Irish. "Would you like ranch dressing with your Caesar salad?"

This outburst of memories let out a flood of giggles. A knock on her door made them jump and let out another stream of laughter. "Come in!" Sam called.

Nothing happened. Sam rolled her eyes. "Hold on," she said to Angie.

She bounced of the bet and opened the door. There stood Artemis, looking masked. His dark hair was slicked back from his dark brow, and his face held what may have been considered handsome if he didn't look thirty instead of seventeen. He was only a year older than her. "Can I help you?"

"Is my mother in there?"

"Nope, I was just laughing to myself. Yeah, she's in here." She opened the door wider. "Angie."

"What is it, Artemis?"

"I'm just checking to make sure that the plans for tomorrow are alright with you."

"Since when have you ever checked with me? Of course they are, Arty. I'm the one who came up with it, didn't I? A day in the country will be nice. It will give Samantha a chance to see some of the natural Ireland. As long as you give her back by the day after tomorrow. We have a shopping trip planned."

"Ah, yes, Angie! That's awesome!"

"I know. It's because I'm me, and when your me…" They trailed off into laughter. "Anyway, off to bed, Sami. I'm sure your tired. You, too, Arty. Let her get some rest. You both will have plenty of time to talk tomorrow. Goodnight, sweetie." She kissed Samantha's cheek and gave her a hug. She turned and touched Artemis's shoulder, nudging him out of the door. "Goodnight, Arty."

She shut the door behind her, and before Sam knew it, she was already in her luxurious bed, fast asleep.

It was not so bright and early when she woke up in the morning. She looked at the alarm by her bed blearily. It was four thirty in the morning. Oh dear God.

She threw on some jeans and a t-shirt, throwing her hair in a ponytail and tossing on some make-up. She fought back a feeling of nausea that she attributed to early morning-jet-lag-food-deprived queasiness. She hurried downstairs to find a plate of warm croissants. She ate three, felt better, and walked into the entrance way. She looked down at her watch. It was only four-forty five. Artemis stood against the door, looking wide awake and masked, again. Butler was beside him, looking like all buisness with dark glasses and a gun strapped to his belt under his dark suit. He was quiet as he escorted them outside, checking above, under, around, and in the car before letting them in.

Everyone was quiet on the ride to Tara. Sam toyed with her cell phone for a while, then sat staring out the window. They snuck onto the pasture by the munching holographic cow. The next thing she new, she was being grabbed by Butler and pulled close. For a second, everything was warm and fuzzy. Then she was flying through dream world. It was too early. Then she was being shaken awake.

It was warm. The seating was cramped. Next to her was Artemis, looking uncomfortable. Butler was behind, crammed tighter than filling in an éclair. She almost laughed. Then she realized she was underground.

She hates small spaces. Well, only when she knew she couldn't get out, and this definitely felt like she wasn't getting out of this rocking, tunnel enclosed…shuttle. Before she could panic, though, the shuttle stop, and they were getting out. And….there were so many…faries. They were all lined up, short, and beautiful in their own foreign way. At the end of the salute line there was one face she could identify. Short auburn hair. The only feminine face around beside her own.

"Artemis Fowl, Butler, Samantha McAllester," Holly Short said, looking almost regal. Artemis greeted her almost friendly, looking smugly at Samantha. Butler greeted her happily, and the fairy smiled back. Then she turned to Sam, and much to her relief, smiled. "Hello, Samantha. I'm terribly sorry you had to get involved with Mud Boy and the giant here. It's nice to finally meet you."

"As with you," she replied smiling. She shook her hand. Artemis looked crestfallen. Sam didn't think Holly had warmed this fast to him.

"Right this way, if you please. We've got a lot to go over in a little time."

Sam nodded and took her steps into this whole new world.

--

There ya go…numere due. Review, please! Tell me what you think!


	3. Deceptive Disease

Ok, so, we're a little slow with the comments, but mebbie that's cuz y'all don't like it. Too bad…cuz I need to get this outta my head….Now, for my comment…

To my most favorite Crystalshine……ahahahahahaha, for reals. Your comment made me laugh very very out loud at like, three am. Oh my god. I miss your humor and the way you throw in your two cents…I accept them everytime, of course. And as for the Mary Sue thing….god, just wait. You have no idea. And yes, I like Holly too, but she just wouldn't fit. It would be hard to do what I have to do. Anyways, this one's sorta for you. Just sorta….

Oh, and a quick note…when I don't write a complete sentence, its not because I'm bad at sentence structure. It's supposed to be like how people talk. I know that all of you don't talk in a complete sentence every single second of your life.

**Across Distant Seas**

Chapter 3—Deceptive Disease

Artemis was taken aback. Holly had never warmed to him in that manner so fast. She was walking beside Samantha, talking lightly about what seemed like nothing. Basic introductions with a ring of familiarity. How pleasant. He could have hurled.

"I'll take you to Foaly first. He's got all of the diagnostic results of the pathogen." Holly strode down the hall with purpose. She led them to a familiar room, well, at least to Butler and Artemis. Foaly, even after swearing to never be paranoid again, seemed to have regressed. He was still in his ultra-security room and was wearing a tin-foil hat, although now it was brightly colored.

"Foaly, you remember Mud Boy and Butler. This is Samantha. She's here to help. You remember me telling you about her."

Foaly looked serious. "You've gotten taller, Mud Boy. And Samantha…" he eyed her purse.

"I've heard about your passion for above-ground technology, or lack thereof." She reached in her purse and pulled out her Ipod Nano, tossing it at him. "Have fun."

His face lightened immediately. "I think I'm going to like this girl, Holly."

Holly and Sam both rolled their eyes playfully at the same time. "Before you get too enthralled, Foaly, give them the information."

Foaly smiled. "Ah, ok." He pulled up something on a small, hand-held screen. He bypassed Artemis's hand and gave it to Sam. She smiled and looked at the information. Her face fell into a look of small concentration. Her eyebrows rose expressively, and a smile crossed her face.

"It's crack?" The room's heads snapped up to look at her. "Crack? Are you sure?"

"Crack?" Holly asked. "What is That would have been a better word. What is it in, the powder form?"

They stood looking shocked at her.

"Yes." Foaly said, raising his eyebrows. "There have been many cases of inhalation and death. It's carried around by the air systems, we're guessing. We found this on a shady looking fairy. He died before we could get any information."

"What are the symptoms?" Artemis asked. His head was spinning. Cocaine…and it was fatal to fairies. And… this had to be outside dealings. It couldn't be Koboi again, but who?

"Starts out with coughing, sneezing, congestion. It's a lot like a simple Mud Man cold. Then there's hives, swelling, vomiting, sometimes blindness. And then, if the…what was the word, crack? is not removed from the environment, the symptoms disappear. As far as we've seen. After twenty-four hours, death strikes by seizure."

Samantha looked horrified. "That's terrible! And who do you think is doing this?"

"We need to do more research. Now that we know what it is….Foaly?"

"Yeah, I'll get to it in a minute. This is so adorable. Ah, Mud Man technology. It's so….primative."

"NOW, FOALY!" Holly bellowed.

Foaly rubbed his eyes and began tapping on his keyboard. Holly left for a while, claiming she had paperwork to finish. Artemis watched as Sam played on her cell phone and Butler stared around, bored. He occupied himself for a while by working on his laptop, but actually grew tired of that. Hours passed, and he was just starting to feel hungry when Foaly lifted his head.

"I'm guessing South America."

"You're guessing?" Artemis scoffed.

"Uh, yeah, that's what I said." Sam hid a laugh.

"I've traced the types and the available resources, plus added the typical stereotypes and I've come up with South America. In the northern central region."

"That's good." Butler said. "Do you have a plan?"

"I do, but I'll have to discuss it with Holly. Give me a minute." He walked out of the room. A few minutes later, he came back in with a suppressed look of who-knew-what.

"We'll contact you in a few days."

"What? That's it? You drag us all the way down here to help, and all you can say is you'll contact us?"

"Fine. Here's the plan. While I was researching, I found out that a semi-prominent drug lord has a townhouse in Rome. He deals exclusively in 'crack'. You're all going to Rome. Under an alias, I assume that's what you'll want. Get something and go. Find some information, and bring it back."

"Wait. Let me get this. You want Artemis to be involved with _drug dealers_?" Butler looked almost outraged.

"Goo-lay," Sam interjected.

"I beg your pardon," said Artemis.

"Goo-lay. G-u-l-l-e-t. Like from a chicken, or a Fowl. You know, like a last name for an alias."

Foaly nodded. "That's smart. Yes, Butler, drug dealers. I can arrange for you to stand by--"

"DRUG DEALERS! WHAT IN GOD'S NAME DO YOU THINK YOU'RE SUGGESTING!" Butler thundered.

"I'll do it. Not a problem. I guess I owe you, Holly, for one thing or another. You'll get me some good technology, right Foaly?" Artemis found the plan, well, very outside of the box. He needed a new twist. Ha, and the American girl couldn't have known any Italian. And she was probably to girly for drug dealers.

"I agree." Samantha said. "Foaly, could you make a false bank account under the name of Gullet? Hotel reservations, the works?"

"Do pigs fly?"

"Only in Ohio."

"Oh, well, then, yes, I can and will do it."

"ARE YOU SERIOUS!" Butler was turning redder by the minute.

Holly walked in. "Someone save us, you told them the plan. Oh, I told you to wait so I could break it to Butler in an easier fashion. Butler, breathe, they'll be completely safe."

"SAFE!"

"Yes. And if not…you can kill the whole fairy world."

"Wait, what? Why would you--?"

"Foaly has some really good new technology. You'd be surprised. Anyways, it's late. We'll send contact via your computer, Mud Boy. It's late. You'll need to be heading up soon. Remember, this is our project. No other People, and no other people, clear?"

"Clear," they all affirmed. From there, it was a rush back to the shuttle, cramped and warm. Artemis's mind spun, and surprisingly, Samantha didn't look to shocked.

"Come stai, Artemis?"

Crap. Italian. She probably knew more. Oh well. He let his mind wonder, scheming and delving into this new plan, all the while completely unaware that he was admiring Sam from across the shuttle.

--

I know, not so great, but it's late. Review, please. I love you.


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